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:icondoodlee-a:
This looks really good, and I loved the rhymes and imagery. Just one suggestion though. When writing 'eyes' as a plural, you do not need the apostrophe. Otherwise, it sounded fantastic, and really rolled of the mental tongue. I also like how you did the stanzas, giving it that feel of free verse, and allowing each thought to remain separate, but also keeping the poem together as a whole being.
Beautiful words, and really comforting too. The third line, "Remember who I was not who I tried to be" is probably my favorite. That part right after could probably be bumped down a line though.
Love you!
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:iconkashakart:
kashakart Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
thank you for your critique, very helpful and I will remember in the future for stories and poems
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:icondoodlee-a:
Doodlee-a Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:)
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